Addressing the Haggis

Ladies and Knights of Leith Round Table (apologies to King Arthur)

Heres To Us A` Where E`er We May Be

The Prince Regent has made it known that in his Halloween Honours List  all Knights shall henceforth be elevated to the Lords and the Ladies be given Dameships

Magnus, England

Lord Dudley

Ian, Scotland

Lord Springfield

Scott, England

Lord Bonnington

John, Scotland

Lord Cables

Graham, England

The Prince Regent

Her Ladyship Ruth, USA

Dame Coburg

Her Ladyship Jessie, Canada

Dame Easter

Pat, Australia

Dame Bangor

Morty, USA

Lord Dalmeny

Andrew, New Zealand

Lord Ferry

Bill, Australia

Lord Steads

Bill, Scotland

Lord Lorne

Alex, Canada

Lord Burlington

Forgot his cap but remembered his toast

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Vacant

Ian, England

Lord Kinnaird

Donald,  England Lord Dean

Her Ladyship Linda

Scotland

Dame Bridge of Bonnington

Round Table Circular

From Lord Cables   26-10-08

Wishes it beknown that he requests the noble Lords and Ladies to consider the appointment of a Court Physician.  With few exceptions, our advanced years would be served well by such a position at our table.

The noble Lord has a suitable candidate for the post who in his time served well at another court in Camelot.

His credulence has lasted through the years and he is enabled to to impart this infallibility to others.

He is known by the name of Merlin.  What say you?

It may be that a certain Dr Doolittle would fit the bill better with his language skill.  If he can communicate with a donkey then what better a person to cope with our Leith dialect.

On the other hand Dr Who could be a choice of  Lady Easter with her inside knowledge of the Tardis if it were to be his place of practice.  Time holds no bounds for him.

May I also ask you consider the appointment of a Court Jester?   We might already be blessed with one in our ranks already.

Our bushels may already be concealing such a talent.

Reply  from Prince Regent                                                                                                                                                27-10-08

Lord Dudley would be an ideal candidate for Court Physician.   In the unlikely availability of Dr Doolittle, his ability of talking the hind leg of a donkey would seem the ideal credential.

As for Court  Jester, who better than our own Lord Burlington?

May I request that some thought be given to seeking a roll for our esteemed Ladies?

Reply from Lord Dudley02-11-08

My Leige, Prince Regent, I read with interest your remarks about me being able to talk the hind legs off a donkey, and I would just like to say I resemble that remark. lol.

From Lord Dean                                                                                                                                                                    30-10-08

I beseech the Honourable Lord Dudley to entertain our noble gathering with his tales of his sojourns in the Artic in pursuit of cod.

From Lord Cables                                                                                                                                                                 30-10-08

Pray hearken to me.  Our Round Table has had several requests to be allowed to join our ranks.    In the beginning it was requisite to be in possession of a cap for admittance.  However, with a minimum order for 10 caps to be processed,  this may take some time to reach.  I feel that it is very off putting to delay entry until such time.

I propose that we open our doors meantime for new applicants and when the number 10 is reached we can then place the order.

Might I also propose that all bits and pieces relating to the Round Table be posted to me for inclusion here.  This would leave the guestbook for other topics.  This way newcomers to the site will not be puzzled by our medieval rantings.

From Lord Dean                                                                                                                                                                    31-10-08

I am in touch with the Tom who was in the Childrens Home in Newhaven when Roy Rogers selected a girl for adoption. We all thought he was great because he never kissed on the screen!!  Donald.

From Dame Bridge of Bonnington                                                                                                                                   31-10-08

Thank you my liege.  I will try and organise a photo over the weekend. I am pleased with Bridge of Bonnington as I actually was brought up at 1 Bonnington Avenue and that is right at the very bridge! Good guess. A good weekend to all of you.

From Lord Burlington                                                                                                                                                          01-11-08

MY LORD CABLES , Iam beholding to you regarding sending an image of our new head piece in place. I am on one of my many crusades at the moment ,success hath been such that my head hast swelt beyond normal size,hence the capulet dothny fit. I MOST certainly agree ,THAT all knaves of the kingdom be bestowed the honour of acceptance INTO the round table, capulet or not, they will at a later date realize the importance, I do remain YOUR RIGHT HAND AND LEFT FOOT.  ALAS I hear the natives are restless again, must go ankickass.

From Lord Cables                                                                                                                                                               01-11-08

My noble Lords and Ladies with our numbers swelling as they do our round table has become very constrictive in accommodating such increase.

I have been informed by my carpenters that with our meeting place being so narrow but with our length unlimited, a long table would be the answer.

They do advise that I purchase such a table from our local Asda Walmart store.   This would make it possible for all of us to have equal status seated at the table.   However, it doth raise the question of who sits at the head of it.  I for one prefer to

remain on the side.

I leave all this for your consideration and recommendation.

Reply from Lady Easter                                                                                                                                                      01-11-08

My dear Lord Cables I will go along with the majority decision. 

My suggestion for the position of Court Jester is given without hesitation.  I nominate Lord Burlington.  He has all the credentials needed to make a successful entertainer. lol.

Prince Regent                                                                                                                                                                        02-11-08

Rectangular-Tablers?  My Noble Lords and Ladies, good day to you all.  Assuming one cannot do a 50/50, or in this day and age, have the use of a Telephony system, may I humbly ask the audience to consider carefully all options. To have a Rectangular Table should be a must to accomodate all. Henceforth the requirement of a new name for the Tablers should be discussed with all Nobility. The dis-service would only come about if, we did not have both a Lord and a Lady at the head of the table.Your ever faithful servant.

Lord Burlington03-11-08

I SIR, am of no opinion regarding the Geometric configuration, as long as we can have a place to Feast and Be Meery,and it is large enough for rest and recreation as the cold night air swirls amoungst us. I REMAIN YOURS,  LORD BURLINGTON.

Lord Dudley                                                                                                                                                                           03-11-08

Gadzooks, and Forsooth, whatever next?  Geometric configurations, Telephony systems, Asda Walmarts.  Mark my words, it will all end in tears. (pending M.O.)

Lady Coburg   27-11-08

Been away doing my ladyship duties. Nice to be hame in the toon again.  What is all this aboot the table, just leave the one we have alain?  I sit next to Lord Dudley and we have a bit of laugh the gether.  Oor Jess is up there wi Lord Burlington, ain they are laughing there heids off awe the time.  Naw just keep the table we huv.  Why do you want to ruin a good thing?  As for the claret yer pouring , where did you git that frae?  Rubbish, I am looking forward to our feast this Saturday Nicht.  The coach will arrive for me at 7:00.  Me Lord and Ladies until Saturday. .... I remain Lady Coburg

Lord Dudley                                                                                                                                                                          16-12-08

Well I polished my armour, rubbed down my steed, 'frollicked' with a few comely wenches, (I wish) then made my way to the round table! What has happened? I go away to the crusades for a wee while, and come back to find the round table deserted.I am sad,nay devastated to see a once thriving community fallen on such hard times. I know the price of 'castles'has fallen, and a good horse costs a small fortune, but in times of recession we must tighten our sword belts, cut out the suckling pig, rely more on some olde worlde mince and tatties, till things improve. I hope our Lord Prince Regent is not suffering these hardships or I can see him putting up Ye olde council tax!  I hope every one from the round table is in good spirits whatever their cicumstance. I look forward and hope for a much improved input the next time I visit. I am now off to the Blue Boar tavern for a night of jollity and carousing, before I make another sojourn to the holy land. Yours as ever, Lord Dudley.

Prince Regent22-12-08

Ye olde Cooncil Tax? noo yon gies me an idea, Turkey Tax, will get back to you, in a thrice.

Lord Dudley                                                                                                                                                                        22-12-08

Whilst on my way to Dover to catch a Galleon to the holy war, I inadvertantly fell from my horse ,tearing my doublet and hose. I can only think that consuming copious amounts of the strong ale at the 'Blue Boar Inn'Coupled with 'John Barleycorn' did send my balance slightly askew, causing my fall. Fortunately, a friendly merchant and his family took me to their home and plied me with brandy, (purely medicinal you understand)

This bucked me up no end so I re-mounted my steed and proceeded on my way,I got as far as 'Ye Olde Oake Tavern' when a raging thirst made me dismount and call in to see mine host. He welcomed me with opened arms and said I was the first customer he had served all day, so the first drink was on him, then he decided to join me, so brought two large glasses of 'mead' to the table.  These we quaffed with vigour.  My turn again,and so forth, till mine host disappeared under the table.  I got on board my horse again and set off once more for Dover. Alas and alack, as we made our way down to the docks, my horse lost its footing, causing me to fly over his head and land on my back. If I had still been wearing my armour, and helmet, I might have emerged unscathed, but unfortunately somewhere along the way I seem to have lost my armour, also, my sword, all my money, the front door key to the castle.

I do not know what my aunt Lady Coburg will have to say when she finds out. It seems I have pulled a muscle in my back, sprained my right leg, the horse stood on my left hand breaking two fingers, (not my drinking hand thank god. )So now I shall be unable to go to the crusades in the near future. The good news being, I will be able to attend the Party on Saturday nicht.  I look forward to seeing you all then.  Yours as ever, Lord Dudley.  P.S. Did any of you hear about this 'turkey tax' rumour that's going round?

Lord Lorne                                                                                                                                                                         28-12-08

Let it be known that I have accepted a challenge from a Geordie upstart Vassel to whit what Sunday morning repast is most beneficial after a Saturday nights carousing.  His platter will consists of a Stottie Cake with bacon and egg and a cup of tea.  My platter will be wellfired rolls with square sausage, bacon and egg with a starter of Iron Brew.The venue and date to be decided. I Will Inform my companions of the round table by electronic Epistal on the result.

Prince Regent                                                                                                                                                                    28-12-08

Turkey Tax!!! Equals 1 Gold coin per bird.  Further Taxes for Mead will be suspended for the festive season, but re-introduced immediately afterwards. The medicine man will increase his charges for any self inflicted injuries, due to too much partaking of said Mead.

During the current climate, any metal will be deemed to belong to the Cooncil, for melting down, to fill the coffers.  As the coffers were emptied by some one in a land they call Iceland.

Lord Dudley                                                                                                                                                                       30-12-08

My Liege Prince Regent, I have been to aforementioned land they call Iceland, and not for nothing is it called Iceland. I have seen many brass monkeys running around without their 'bits and pieces'. They no nothing of money, only fish, which they like to keep for themselves for the most part but will, grudgingly sell to the English at 40 groats a fillet.

Enough to make a good Scotsman greet intae his mead.  By the by I would like tae book the services of said medicine man for about the 4th of January, when I suppose, I will be trying to find out who I am. Hic, where do I live? Hic, how did I get here?  Who do I apologise to, etc, etc?

I remain your faithful (until the mead goes up), Lord Dudley.

Lady o` Argyll                                                                                                                                                                     17-01-09

Roon aboot Burns; Knights and Ladies Fair fa' yer honest sonsie faces Great chiefs and dames frae all the races Aboon us a' ye tak yer places  Roon the roon table  Lang are ye worthy o' a grace As lang as ye're able. But while on hamely fare we dine  Haggis, tatties and neeps for a'that  We'll no say nay tae a glass o'wine  Neither woman nor man for a' that  For a' that and a' that  We're honest fowk for a' that  And honest folk Rab Burns did say  Were Kings and Queens for a' that  From scenes like these, old Scotia's grandeur springs,  That makes her lov'd at home, rever'd abroad: Princes and lords are but the breath of kings,  "An honest man's the noblest work of God;"

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